Inspirations and Motivations

I am writing again. I discovered that I am discovering my poetry. A sign along the lonely road I thread.  

Kalipay kung Taguipusoon

Pananglitan nga rong aton nga daean

Indi eon magsub-eang sa unhan

Sa tindahan rong isda nga mub-ead

Magapadumdum kimo

Nga ikaw ro matuod nga mahae

Owa eon it iba pa.

Pananglitan nga rong aton nga eandong

Indi eon makatao it handong sa hilamon

Sa simbahan rong siga it kandila

Magapadumdum kimo

Ikaw man lang rong kasadya it taguipusoon

Owa eon it iba pa.

Ag pananglitan nga hilipatan mo

Sa madueom, matapo-tapo nga kwarto

Ro binaeaybay it kahapon magapadumdum kimo

Ikaw ratong ginatumod ko, hinigugma nga engkantada

Kalipay ag baeay ku baeatyagon nga nagapadayon

Halin pa kato hasta sa gihapon.

I write poems to express what is happening inside my heart. I write poems when the emotion is strong and wanting release. I write poems to convey my feelings of love and admiration. I write poems to tell you that you are special and I love you.

I write essays and narratives to express what is going on around. I write essays and journal to document the things as they happen that I may remember. I write journal whenever I need to process my coming to be -- a sort of psycho-analyses of the reality as it manifests itself in my consciousness.

I write when I am problematic. I write when the enchantress is nice to me. I write when I am troubled by the events as they unfold. I write to earn a living. I write from time to time to compose a book someday.

 I used to write as a form of prayer. I used to write in lieu of meditating. I used to write to contemplate on the nature of the subject matter of my thought. I used to write as a form of introspection with the hope of reconciling my brokenness and recollecting my shattered self. 

Uninspired

Something inside urges me to write something today. I refused on many occasions. I argued that I am not inclined of writing something worthwhile befitting of this journal--err, blog. I prefer reading these days. Yesterday, I grabbed a label of an olive oil and tried hard reading the minute printouts written therein. Today, I visited this site hoping to read something that would interest me. It failed. So I decided to surf from the list in my dashboard and I managed to engage my mind into the gibberish that my fellow ghostwriters were trying to advertise.

Then again, I got tired of tiring myself in indulging into those promotions. What the heck! Why not try Facebook instead, whispered an inner voice. "¿Para que?", my rational mind responded readily. I realized later, I was back at square one as if an automaton writing this hallow words with nothing in mind but the desire of tinkering the keyboard of my computer.

At the back of my mind, something tells me that I have a lot of stories to write for others to read. But it is maybe for lack of discipline and focus or for just having a thought disorder that I got entangled into this frivolity. However you may put it, to the common man, I am just being uninspired to-day.

The Day After the Feast of St. Augustine

Yesterday (August 28) was the feast of St. Augustine of Hippo. I celebrated it in silence and alone with you. I reminded you about it as if you need reminding. All these years, I remain as restless as a young man as he ran in pursuit for some truths to satisfy his curiosity of his carefree days. You are witness to such restlessness.

Time brought changes into all those that are. Here I sit a day after the feast day of my patron saint holding on to a past that is already gone trying to rally for its continued hold into the culture that is fast becoming obsolete. It remains present though in a mind fixated to those moments of wild abandon of bygone years. Here I endure and convince myself to accept the things of the present moment that are consequences of such puerile and reckless "indecisiveness."

Yet my heart is not at rest. There is stubbornness that wanted to rebel against the "consequenced-past" and the "regrettable present." It is hard to vision out my path into the "desired future" lest I become a Sisyphean troll or a condemned Promethean man.

I must teach myself to accept the things of the present...to live with it (without judging its value?).

Yes, these are the images I painted in my mind a day after I celebrated my patron saint's feast day alone with you. Those were the thoughts wandering about in the region of dissimilarity, set aside my conjectures about the laws of attraction and gravitational pull vis-a-vis the subtle influence of the dictum, "Amor meus, pondum meum." But such things are as I said, conjectures.

Somewhere Down the Road

A friend wondered out loud: "Why the frequent absences and the belated updates of this blog?" I smiled back and quietly informed her, "Oh, I been wandering somewhere down the road." She insisted that I elucidate what I mean, thus this entry.

Yes, my dear, I been wandering down the road and should you care, you can follow me on my steps:

First, let us draw the line. For here is the first stop: At Petrufied's corner. :-). She's kind enough to show me where else to go in my early morning wanderings.

The next stop is at Singapore's National Day Celebration where Lee Kuan Yew publicly aired his regrets for seeing too soon the sun setting on his beloved country's tomorrow. Mr. Michael Cook was kind to share "table" with me. :-)

From the Lion City, I went back to hear the turno en contra at the Philippine Senate. Sen. Sotto was emphatic defending his ground. Back at home in time for the Feast of the Assumption, the Sangguniang Panlalawigan enacted a pro-life Universal Health program contrary to what USAID has originally proposed per its pro-forma ordinance (the so-called KP Ordinance).

Then later in the day, I came across this Catholic Thing musing about the limits of liberal mind when encountering Catholicism. I lingered for a while and met articulate Dave whom I suspect to be a theologian of good heart.

Yes, my dear, I been wandering through a lot of corners down the road these days that I failed to update this blog. I am sorry for having you waited and for failing to inform you beforehand of my whereabouts.

I am sorry that I can't be at your feast day celebration too. Happy feast day, anyway. :-D

Crossing Bridges in Balete

       Hiking into upland Balete is one of those activities that I find most engaging most especially during the arid days in my restless probings. The lush of green, the chirping of birds, the distant rural scenes, all always offer refreshing treat to the tired eyes and weary soul.





      In my recent escapade, my mind wanders through some existential pathways and bridges and into the thoroughfares of the great and wise.

   

The exercise was exhausting for both the body and the mind.






Even then, the soul is refreshed, the eyes are rested.







                                                                                                        In the silence of the journey, the spirit sours.

Renewed and revitalized. Believing and hope-filled.

         Available and reaching out.

 

Going out of its comfort zone to seek the light of day.

Poetic

       







           My poetry is returning to me. Precisely that my sleep these days are shallow and disturbed. Poetry awakens the passionate mind from its slumber. It begets something out of the unprocessed perceptions of both the conscious and the subconscious. It goes beyond logic. It is rebelling yet tolerant of the things that are. It is even if it isn't.