I Don't Think My Mind is Without Ink Today


My mind is without ink these days. My subconscious is instead portraying new archetypes. Colorful ones and bordering to the absurd.

My mind is without ink these days. My conscious mind dictates that I write down all those events happening inside. Atess was suggesting though that I paint again when she told me that she miss my artworks. And I feel appreciated.

Yet my mind is without ink these days. Atess invited me to her place to see her for the last time. She said she and her entire family will be leaving for New Zealand in June. She said that she feel funny to have kept all my letters after all these years. Well, that was almost 20 years ago. The sad thing is I have told her that I am keeping hers too. I set them to fire some 16 years ago--including her photographs which were my most precious memorabilia of her. I was angry and confused at that time. I hope she'll understand.

Really, my mind is without ink these days. My mind is filled with regrets. It wants to go back in time to correct all those stupidity and indecisiveness. But I can discern that Atess is now happy to have settled down and raised her family in the way she'd dreamed of. I cannot pray for more. My heart's every good wish for her is coming true. That's my consolation.

Now, I don't think that my mind is without ink today.

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